Coaching & Consulting: Bringing the “Unthought Known” to Life
We all have them, unthought knowns, that is. “What the heck is she talking about?”, you may well ask. In this book, The Shadow of the Object, Christopher Bollas both coins and defines “the unthought known” as…
“…preverbal, unschematized early experience that may determine one’s behavior unconsciously, barred to conscious thought [1].” To add a couple of other concepts of knowing to those raised in our book review this month, the concept is said to refer to the boundary between apprehensive knowing (non-verbal) and comprehensive knowing (that which we can allow ourselves to formulate into words [2}.
Both well-trained coaches and consultants support languaging the “unthought known” of their clients, be they individuals or system, but they do so in very different ways.
Within coaching there is a basic assumption that in most cases, the client has “the answer,” held as what Bollas would call the unthought known. A professionally trained coach has learned skills that hold space, has learned to develop carefully crafted questions, and a quality of presence that allows the client to take the risk of hearing themselves at levels they would not otherwise achieve. Behavioral changes follow language, and language follows this hard work. Beginning to really listen to yourself – hunches and “gut”- opens space for the articulation of the unthought known. Clearly it is not a frequent occurrence in our lives. The moments of new awareness, the “Aha’s” are very powerful. Transformative, in fact.
In consulting, we are most often working with and within a system. The system itself has a similar kind of “unthought known,” usually just beyond the things that the people in them are telling themselves and one another are not possible. “We tried that once” or “that’s not how we do it here” are two of the most common obstacles to deep knowing. A consultant may use coaching techniques to get underneath the blocks, build consensus and move the process forward, but they are also there as a process and/or content expert.
It is imperative that the professional coach — who may also be a consultant — stays aware and articulate about what their primary mode is in each moment. Coaching and Consulting are not the same thing nor are they interchangeable. In the event that a contract is made for one type of work, integrity of discipline means that a different approach must be consciously negotiated, and that there be a well-grounded rationale for the change.
If we are working with a group or individual as a client, and coaching seems an important tool in that moment, announce the shift in presence. “I am going to put my professional coach’s hat on here” and then, “I will now resume as your consultant.” In the same manner, the coach may specifically be asked to provide consultation on a specific topic.
It is not the responsibility of the client to discern how their coach or consultant is showing up; that responsibility lies solely with the coach/consultant. Knowing one’s role in service to the client is vital to the client’s goals and wellbeing. Coaching and consulting are delightful professions that should be allowed to flourish in their own lanes as we work together to make transformation possible for clients, team, organizations, and communities.
- Bollas, Christopher, The Shadow of the Object, pp. 101, 230, 232, 261, 277-283. New York, Columbia University Press, 1987.
- Nancy J. Chodorow, The Power of Feelings (2001) pp. 252, 272
- “Michael Robbins, ‘Embeddedness’” (http://www.michaelrobbinstherapy.com/embeddedRefelctions.pdf) (PDF)
