We have all heard, and maybe even used, the phrase ourselves: “let’s get them some coaching on…” That usually means advice – call it mentoring or counseling, consulting or guidance, advisory or directive counsel, it is not coaching.
In these circumstances the advisor, whatever their contracted or relational role, is involved in imparting wisdom and guidance to the person they believe needs help, whether asked to do so or not. They are providing a potential solution or “fixing” something. Coaches do not “fix.” Fixing will not help you or your employees and teammates to discover for themselves a solution that will work, nor will they know how to successfully replicate the process in the future.
Professional coaches are trained to listen for possibility. They are trained to ask specific types of questions, carefully crafted – questions that take into account the language used by the client regarding their culture, narrative, environment, learning style, and the systemic implications of the client’s circumstances, questions that open their clients’ minds to possibilities they had not seen before (but were there all along). A bit like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, the journey with a professional coach takes you inward to what “you don’t know you know,” and holds space for you to find the words that give form and function to that knowing. They help you find a new way “home.”
Here are a few examples that illustrate how the Professional Coach’s approach is different:
- In adversarial situations a mediator listens for possible compromise. A coach listens for shared values. The coach’s goal is to frame questions designed to help people hear one another better, establishing a “same page” from which to work. Nonproductive tension often begins with misunderstandings about what is being said, and assumptions as to what is meant.
- An advisor advises, identifying places in the client narrative that draws upon their expertise. A coach listens, asking questions when words, concepts or phrases seem important to the client, learning what the client intends to communicate. This helps the client to better hear themselves.
- A facilitator focuses the conversation on a particular project or pre-conceived organizational goal. A coach asks, “What ideas might surface that inform or transform organizational outcomes and goals?” People will give you 100% plus of what they have to offer if they believe they have been heard and their input considered.
Professional Coach training takes years in most cases, and hundreds of hours of commitment to study and clinical applications of the craft – hundreds of hours of learning to empower people to hear themselves, and view the circumstances in which they find themselves, differently.
We have learned that when someone says they are a coach, or have provided coaching to someone, it is best to ask where they trained and which credential they hold, with which organization, so we know how to listen. Sports coaching, mentoring, consulting, managing, advising, counseling, etc. – while they may have elements of a coach-approach in them, are not coaching.
Even a coach-approach is not universally defined or understood. What is a coach approach? We are starting a series on some practical approaches to making even difficult conversations productive using coach-approach techniques. In the current climate, with emotions at an all-time high, this information and these skill sets are needed now more than ever.
